


I Won't Say (I'm In Love)

by DerekJonesy



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Dark!Thomas, F/F, F/M, M/M, Newmas - Freeform, Sorry Not Sorry, Unrequited Love, Versatile!Newt, Versatile!Thomas, badass!Newt, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerekJonesy/pseuds/DerekJonesy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas is stubborn and so is Newt. Thomas won't say he is in love, neither will Newt. What's going to happen when they meet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Whole New World

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything from The Maze Runner Universe, everything belongs to James Dashner except this story.

Thomas wasn't sure if he was ready to leave the nest, actually he was afraid of leaving everything behind, his family, his friends, his home, his life. But now there was no coming back he was on a plane, thinking of what awaits in Albuquerque, in his new life. Aunt Ava was great, she loved Thomas, and he loved her. He also had two cousins Aris and Teresa, both were funny, charismatic, and loved Thomas in their own way.

As he watched the clouds flashbacks of what used to be his life ran through his mind, images of his mother, his little bro Chuck, his twin sister Brenda, his house, of his friends, and of places where he loved to hang out. These memories triggered the feelings of loneliness and sadness that remembered Thomas why he was doing this, why he had to leave everything, to start a new life with his aunt, to enter a whole new world.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was his last day in Denver, today was the day that changed everything, the last day of his life. He was sure that he was going to miss his school, his home, his family, his friends and his city, but there was no way he could escape this. His mother alone couldn't afford three children, so she asked Aunt Ava to take care of Thomas until she could find a way. On the bright side, he would be living with his cousins Aris and Teresa, who were step brothers, there was no way it could go wrong, or at least that was what Thomas thought.

"Hey Tom, you know I'm going to miss you, right?" Said Brenda, since Thomas didn't answer her she decided to continue "I know it's hard to leave everything behind, but you know mom wouldn't have asked you to do this if it wasn't necessary, after all you've always been her favorite Tom."

"You gotta be kidding me sis, she hates me, she has always been mean to me, she's always with you and Chuck, she never felt like a mother." Thomas said bitterly, while tears started falling from his eyes.

"Geez Tom, you know that's not true, you always pushed her away for cheating in father, she made her life mission to make you forgive for taking away your childhood, for taking away your innocence, for being all her mistakes." After saying she hugged me, it was her way for saying that everything will be okay and that she'll be there for Thomas when he needs her the most.

"Thank you Brenda, I don't know what I would do without you, my twin sister." Thomas said, and started hugging her back.

"Probably you would either be dead or under psychiatric guard, Tom." Brenda answered and laughed.

After that, she left cause she had a date to prepare for, classic Brenda, she always got the hot ones much to Thomas demise. All she needed to do was wave her hair, wink, and use clothing that is more like a second skin, then all boys and girls would be drooling over her, but who wouldn't she's beautiful in the inside and in the outside, what else could someone ask for?

By the time Chuck returned home, Thomas had almost ended packing, he decided that he'll just bring just the essential clothes since Aris could lend him some and Aunt Ava promised that once he arrived they will go to the shopping mall and buy Thomas some new ones, he also decided to take some pictures of his family and his friends to remind him of who he used to be.

"Tom" A voice behind him said " Why are you packing? Where are you going? Are you planning on running away? Why are you leaving me behind?"

"Chuck" Thomas said, hopping that would make the little kid shut up so he could explain to his little brother everything "I am moving to Albuquerque with Aunt Ava, they offered me a great scholarship in the "Scorch High School", so mom and I decided that it was a great opportunity for me and that I should take, I'm really sorry for leaving and for not telling you before Chuck but I was afraid of how it may affect you."

"You know, it kind of hurts that you didn't told me before, but I can't be mad at you, you did it cause you care, just promise you will call when you can." Chuck said and began hugging Thomas, truth to be told Chuck was quite scared of losing Thomas but there was nothing he could do but support his brother.

"I promise Chuck I'll do it, believe me when I say it was a difficult choice for me, but opportunities like this happen just once." Thomas said as he began crying twice in the same day and something told him it wasn't going to be the last time today.

"I love you Thomas, remember that when you feel alone." Said Chuck with tears falling from his eyes, he knew that his brother needed him to be strong but he couldn't, he was going to miss Thomas a lot he was like a father, always supportive, always there, he knew that everything was going to change and he wasn't ready.

"I love you more Chuck, I know it will be hard for both of us, but promise you will be strong, promise me that you'll never give up, that you'll be fine, and that you won't cry when you remember that I'm gone." Said Thomas while trying stop crying, he needed to be strong for Chuck, he couldn't let him see him like this.

"Thomas, I promise you that I'll be as strong as I can, I'll be as brave as you, as smart as Brenda, as forgiving as mother, but I can't promise the last part, you're my brother, my role model, my hero Thomas." Chuck said with the brightest smile he could, knowing it's exactly what Thomas needed the most.

"I guess I couldn't ask for anything more, Chuck." Thomas said with a light chuckle.

At the same moment a tall woman, with raven hair and deep blue eyes walked in, a woman who was known as Thomas mother, who wasn't ready to let Thomas go but she had no other option she was almost bankrupt, she couldn't continue living like this, and thanks God, that Ava offered to help her by taking care of Thomas.

"Meatball, could you leave I think Thomas and I need to talk alone." She said as emotionless as possible, she couldn't let them see through her mask at least not now.

"Yes Mom" Answered Chuck while leaving Thomas room.

"Honey, I want you to know that I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but It needed to be done, for the sake of your siblings. " She said while trying to keep the tears from betraying her.

"First don't honey me, and second stop acting like you're emotionless we both know the truth of what happened years ago, we both know that you suffer depression, that you are afraid of your emotions, especially afraid of loving again." Thomas said these words with venom in his voice.

"You are right, losing your father broke me, and losing you is affecting me moe, cause I love you more than what you think." She said while tears began running down her cheeks.

"What are you expecting me to say, that I love? Because then I would be lying, you've hurt me so much, you ruined my childhood." Thomas said coldly as he began crying.

"I know I've hurt you, that why I wanted to ask you if you could forgive me for everything I've done wrong, for every time I've hurt you, please Thomas, I've tried everything and yet you would push me away, we both know that this may be the last time we see each other, so please forgive me Thomas." She said as anxiety began attacking her, making her want to go and loose conscience with a little help of the alcohol but she wasn't going to make the same mistake thrice, was she?

"I think I can forgive you mother, but I don't know if can forget about everything you've done" Thomas said between sobs "Though I would like to know, why out of the three did you chose me?"

"Because you've always been the strong one, you've always been the one I loved the most and by letting you go away I'm not just paying... the ultimate prize for all my mistakes, I'm also making sure that you'll be able to find your... happy ending, that's what you truly deserve sunshine." She said with her voice breaking.

The only thing Thomas could think of was hugging her, and crying till the time to leave came, though he didn't what to let his mom go cause for the first in forever he felt loved, he felt happy, he felt complete.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was there, and he was nervous, his new life had just started and he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with this freedom, he didn't know if he wanted to break free of everything that remembered him of his past, or if he wanted to be attached to his roots, he knew he couldn't let Chuck down, that he promised that he would call him, but that will just hurt both of them, he needed to let go his tether to what used to be his life, he needed to start from zero, but could he really be that emotionless, he wasn't sure, but it was what his mother would have wanted, she explicitly asked him to do whatever was necessary to find his happy ending, even if it meant breaking Chuck's heart. He knew it would hurt but he needed to forget, he knew that he may even regret it but now there was no coming back, he took his suitcase and threw it at the nearest trash can he could find.

With a deep sigh he took one last step and exited the Airport, letting go his past, and forgetting who he used to be. The first thing Thomas saw was Aunt Ava, Teresa and Aris running to hug him , he also noticed that it was hotter than Denver, but it wasn't something he couldn't live with.

"Thomas, you are finally here." Said Aunt Ava with a big grin while engulfing him in a big group hug.

"Tom, I missed you so much cuz, I want you to know that we'll help as much as you let us." Said Teresa, as result of this she began crying and hugged me harder.

"Yeah, we really care about you, I know I may not show all but I love you cousin" Said Aris with a big smile.

"Thank you, for accepting me in your family, for opening the doors of your house to me..." Said Thomas but before he could finish he was interrupted by Aunt Ava.

"Our house Thomas, remember that." Declared Ava.

"Aunt Ava, I wondering if I could work at one of your Starbucks?" Requested Thomas.

"Yes Thomas dear, but why?" Asked Ava with a sweat tone.

"Because I don't want to abuse of your hospitality, auntie" Answered Thomas.

"Thomas I'm doing this because I want, you've always been like a son to me anyways" Said Aunt Ava, a little confused.

"And you are the closest thing I ever had to a mother, but still I want to work, I want to feel useful" Explained Thomas.

"Well if that's what you want, you can start working on Monday, I believe there's one near the "SHS", Right Teresa?" Said Aunt Ava.

"Yeah there's were I go for my daily amount of caffeine" Answered Teresa.

"Excellent, now we shall go to the shopping mall, since you brought no clothes with you" And with Aunt Ava and Teresa were gone leaving Thomas with Aris.

"So Thomas, how does Chuck feels about all of this?" Asked Aris clearly worried.

"Who's Chuck?" Asked Thomas without any clear emotion in his voice.


	2. Be Our Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas first day at school, Aris vs. Thomas, Newtmas meeting and more.

It's been two weeks since Thomas arrived to Albuquerque and it has been amazing, not that he'll say out loud, he had finally been able to forget, the nightmares had stopped, life couldn't be better. He was happy that he had his own clothes, they were really nice and they fitted him perfectly, he had eaten food that tasted so amazing that he thought he was in heaven, he had his own room with a bed that was so comfy that he felt as if it was made of clouds, heck he even had wifi, what else could he need. And the job was amazing and kind of fun, cause he worked with this asian guy called Minho who was extremely funny and luckily for Thomas he studied in the SHS too!

If Thomas was being honest he didn't expect that thing would be so great, so amazing, so perfect, he knew everything was going to be different but he didn't expect this, because Thomas knew it was too good to be true, he didn't knew what he did to deserve this but he was glad that he got a second chance. At first it was kind of hard to forget about his past, it hurt and broke his heart, but when he was finally over it, he could feel all the darkness in his soul leaving, he could truly smile, he saw the world from a different point of view, and he was sure that if this was how happiness felt he didn't wanted to let it go.

His cousins have been amazing they've helped him forget and forgive, they showed Thomas that they cared about him, that they loved him and that they were happy of living with him. Aris was supportive and enjoyed presuming Thomas about this amazing boyfriend of his with this amazing golden locks or those dark chocolate eyes, but he didn't mind actually he enjoyed hearing the way Aris voice filled with happiness, seeing the way his eyes flickered, Thomas was sure that Aris was in love with this guy. And Teresa was Teresa, she closed all of Thomas wounds, instead of pouring salt like many other had done, she was like a big sister caring and protective, also a good listener. Aunt Ava was another story though, thanks to the fact that she was barely at home cause she had a lot of work as headmistress of WCKD, the biggest medical research company in the world, and the fact that she owned most of the Starbucks in Albuquerque didn't help that much, but whenever she was home she spent it with them, playing video games, watching movies, making a sing along contest or whatever came across her cray mind. 

"Tom you ready?" asked Teresa, oh yeah Thomas almost forgot that today was his first day of school, he should be nervous but he wasn't, he felt like the king of the world, but that feeling wasn't going to last, cause soon he was going to meet a certain blonde, who made honor to the title.

"Yeah, let's go." Said Thomas happily.

"You'll love it there." Commented Teresa.

"Where's Aris by the way?" Asked Thomas with a little frown in his face cause he hadn't seen him since yesterday.

"He's probably at his boyfriend's house, he spent the night there after all." Answered Teresa. "But don't worry, you'll see him at school."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Your brother, Thomas." Said Aris, with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I know, but I need to forget about my past, my mother asked me to do it." Said Thomas dryly.

"How could you be so emotionless Thomas, he's your little brother he loves you Thomas, and I thought that you loved him!" Screamed Aris.

"It's not easy, and I'm not doing it cause I want, it's just that there's nothing left for me, besides he'll be better without me!" Shouted Thomas.

"You're wrong it's now, when he'll need you the most Thomas, how could you!" Said Aris with venom in his voice.

"You want to now the truth it hurts me but I'm doing it for the best, that's why I threw my suitcase to the trash can, that's why I'm planning of forgetting about my past, that why I'm breaking my promise Aris, so there are two options you can help to forget or can ignore but nothing you say is going to make me change my mind!" Said Thomas while some tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"I'll help you Thomas but that doesn't mean that I approve what you're doing." Said Aris.

"Thank you, Aris." Were the words Thomas said before embracing Aris in a bear hug.

"It's the least I can do Thomas." Answered Aris "Though I'm interested in knowing how are you spraining this to mom and to T."

"You'll discover it soon." Thomas said with a wink "Now let's go shopping"

After a few minutes of silence and endless walking they found Aunt Ava's car and entered it.

"What took you so long cuz, don't tell me Aris was flirting with you" Said Teresa while chuckling.

"No, not that I would have minded" Thomas said and winked in Aris direction.

"I'm in a relationship, and your my cousin Thomas" Answered Aris a little nervous.

Then Thomas kisses Aris, the kiss is so passionate, so good, so perfect, that none of them want to pull back, they even got to the point that both of their tongues were fighting for dominance, that's when Thomas decided that it was time to pull back. 

"That was so amazing, but so wrong" Said Aris with a blush.

"Don't worry cuz we won't tell a soul, and if you want to do it again just ask" Purred Thomas into Aris ear, and that made Aris shiver. 

"I got admit I wouldn't mind doing it again, and I don't think my boyfriend would mind since we are on an open relationship but we are cousins Thomas" Said Aris still blushing.

And with that Thomas kissed min again, lip against lip, Thomas fingers rummaged free around Aris back, while Aris fingers played with Thomas hair.

"Don't do that without warning Thomas, and don't think of doing this in public, because if you do it I swear I'll kill you." Expressed Aris.

"Kids, we are here, so get your ass out of the car, cause we're going to buy Thomas some new clothes, maybe Aris can choose your underwear" Said Aunt Ava winking at the boys, which made both of them blush and Teresa laugh.

"Mom!" Screamed Aris obviously embarrassed for the comment.

"I wouldn't mind if you help choose what I'm buying, I got admit you've a great fashion taste" Said Thomas with a small blush.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We're here, Welcome to the SHS Thomas" Said Teresa with a big grin.

"Thanks, T" With that Teresa motioned Thomas to follow her, so that she could show Thomas around.

First Teresa showed to Thomas, and explained that whenever he needed some time alone or just needed to talk to someone he could come here, since the librarian was a friend of her, she was quite sure he could help him get over his problems. Then Teresa showed him where he could it, and told him that the burger wagon was her personal favorite. After that Teresa took him to the Gym and the locker room. And finally Teresa told him where he could find each of his classrooms.

"I gotta go Thomas, good luck with Mr. Janson" Thomas started walking to the classroom number 118, where he was supposed to take advanced chemistry with Mr. Janson.

"Hey, Thomas" Called a voice behind him.

"Hi Minho" Said Thomas.

"You got chemistry with Rat-man too?" Asked Minho.

"Who's Rat-man?" Thomas took a place and waited for Mr. Janson to arrive. 

"I forgot that you were new, well greenie we call Mr. Janson, Rat Man" Answered Minho.

"In that case I guess I do have class with Rat Man" Said Thomas "By the way what does greenie means?" 

"It's a slang used in SHS to refer to the newbies." Explained Minho.

"Hello Class, today we got a new student who's name is Thomas" Said Mr. Janson "Care to present you self greenie?"

"As you said my name is Thomas, I'm 17, I used to live in Denver but my mother decided that I should move to Albuquerque and live with my Aunt and cousins" Thomas said as he sat again. 

"I guess we shall begin, today we are talking about venoms and their compounds, my favorites" All the class laughed at that not knowing if the should be scared or happy about that.

Thomas couldn't believe the fact that it wasn't as boring as he expected actually he found himself listening carefully to every word that came from Rat Man's mouth.

"Thomas I want you to meet my friends" Said Minho with a toothy smile.

They walked for about 15 minutes, while Minho wouldn't stop babbling about his amazing friends, how they were like a family, about the racing team, and the fact that he was the proud leader of it, while Thomas just nodded and tried to look interested to his friend's words. 

"We're here" Thomas saw a big sign that said The Maze. 

"Where are we exactly? Cause I don't remember Teresa showing me this place" Asked Thomas.

"Wait did you just said Teresa?" Minho looked like he had seen a ghost. 

"Yeah, but you haven't answered my question Minho" 

"Yeah right sorry, well this place is exclusive for the student group called The Gladers, and you'll soon be a proud member of it" 

"Thanks I guess, though I still don't understand why you reacted that way when I said Teresa's name" Said Thomas.

"There are questions that are better without an answer Thomas" Answered Minho "Maybe one day, you'll learn the whole truth but today isn't that day"

"Fine" Scowled Thomas as they entered The Maze.

"Gladers, may I have the honor to present you the new member of our little family, Thomas" Said Minho while the people inside cheered.

"Are you the leader?" Whispered Thomas to Minho.

"No that's Newt, he must be in his office, doing all the paper work like always" Replied Minho.

"I'm Ben" Greeted a pale blonde. 

"It's great to meet you" Said Thomas with a small smile.

"My Name is Winston" Said a teenager with lots of zits. 

"I'm Thomas as Minho already said" 

"You can call me Gally, greenie" Said a tall and strong blonde and left without giving Thomas the chance to greet back. 

"I'm Siggy, but call me Frypan" Said another teenager while embracing Thomas in a bro hug. 

And many other followed some were really kind and extremely friendly like Frypan, and some were cold and distant as the Gally guy was. 

"Thomas, I guess it's time you meet Newt" Minho grabbed his hand and took him a private room where a young and slightly skinny boy with golden hair was working himself to death.

"Minho, care to explain" Was all this Newt said.

"Thomas here, is a friend of mine, we got class with Rat Man and we work together, so I do you wouldn't mind if I introduced him to our group of friends" Explained Minho.

"As long as he doesn't messes up with me I don't mind" Said Newt coldly. 

"Common Newtie, don't you want to introduce yourself to Thomas" Newt gave Minho a death stare, it was so dark, so deathly that Thomas was sure he was getting nightmares about it. 

"Don't an asshole Newt and present yourself to our new friend" Insisted Minho slightly annoyed.

"Fine" Said Newt.

"Great" Said Minho 

"My name is Newt, greenie, and believe me you don't want me as an enemy, so don't get in my way or I'll destroy you." Said the blonde with a cocky grin.

"First, that was extremely rude for a first meeting and second I'm not afraid of you, actually I think it's you who should be afraid of me, cause life is perfect and I'm not going to let anyone ruin it, Did you hear me, blonde?" Replied Thomas, even though he was scared of the blonde, he wasn't going to back off, cause he hadn't done anything to make Newt mad. 

"You just didn't call him blonde, did you?" Said Minho obviously worried.

"I did, What are you going to do about it blonde?" Answered Thomas.

"I'm going to kill you!" Screamed Newt "Bloody Idiot!"

"Did the blonde got upset?" Asked Thomas in a teasing tone.

"Thomas, you don't want Newt to get mad, especially not when he's stressed." Said Minho "You better apologize before he beats the hell out of you."

"If that's what the blonde wants, then be my guest." Said Thomas making eye contact with Newt, then he bowed.

That was it, Newt couldn't hold back anymore, with a single blow Thomas felt to the floor unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> Please comment and/or leave kudos ;).


	3. It's A Small World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newtmas meetings, Teresa being Teresa, and more foreshadowing.

Newt though that today was going to be a great day, unfortunately it wasn't since today the busiest day in his agenda and a new kid decided to move from Denver and take classes in the SHS, bloody great isn't it, thanks to this new kiddo now he had to fill lots of paperwork, but that's what he gets for being the president of the student council. 

"Hey Newt" Teresa called from the distance.

"What's up Teresa" Newt answered a little skeptical, maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad day after all.

"Ready for Literature bookworm?" Asked Teresa.

"As much as I'll ever be brain breaker" Answered Newt.

"I see you're stressed what happened?"

"We're having a new student, and that just means trouble to me" Stated Newt " What if he's a douchebag or worse a trouble maker" 

"Why so negative Newt? Maybe he's a nice guy" Said Teresa a little confused, cause she didn't understand why Newt was so mad and paranoid about the fact that Thomas was entering the SHS.

"I really don't care if he's a good guy or not T, now I'll have to work to death since I need to create a bloody expedient about this guy" Said Newt with his deep British accent.

"You've seen worse, it can't be that hard Newtie" 

"Don't call me Newtie, Teresa and believe when I say that there's nothing worse than creating an expedient" Said Newt a little annoyed, cause nobody seemed to get the fact that he's going to have to work to death thanks to that shucking new student.

"Sorry Newt, I didn't knew" Said Teresa.

"It's fine, as long as I don't meet with this shank, I'll be fine" Offered Newt with one of his bright smiles, which was obviously fake since he forgot how to smile thanks to the bloody accident.

"Hurry up Newt we have Literature" Teresa took Newt's hand as she started running to the classroom 103.

"Bloody Hell Teresa!" Screamed Newt in pain.

"Oh crap I forgot about your leg" Said Teresa.

"Just don't do it again" Newt started walking to the classroom, hoping that the limp isn't that obvious.

"Newt did you read the book?" Asked Teresa.

"Don't tell me you didn't" Newt almost face palmed at that.

"I obviously read, that's why I'm asking" Said Teresa sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

"Really Teresa, again?" Asked Newt as they entered the classroom.

"It's just that it was so boring that I fell asleep" Teresa rubbed the back of her neck.

"Were did you exactly fell asleep?" Asked Newt.

"When this guy, wakes up with no memories" Offered Teresa

"That was the beginning, you're doomed T cause the old lady has just entered the classroom" A real laugh escaped from Newt lips, something no one had heard in months.

"You just laughed Newt" Teresa couldn't help but smile, her bestie was happy, she couldn't still believe it, he had been kind of gloomy and unstable since that day but right now he looked like the old Newt.

"Thanks T, I really needed that" Newt hugged Teresa while some tears started falling from his eyes.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Newt, Are you fine? I heard you screaming" Teresa said as she stormed into Newt's office. "Is that Thomas? Can someone explain to me what just happened"

"Well our friend Thomas, thought it was a good idea to piss off Newtie by calling him blonde, he even gave Newt permission to kick the hell out of him" Said Minho "In his defense Newt may not look like it but he's deadly"

"Newt! What did I told you about hitting strangers?" Teased Teresa

"That I need to learn to control my temper and that violence isn't the answer?" Offered Newt with puppy eyes.

"And what did you did?" Asked Teresa.

"I kicked a bloody stranger and probably broke his nose?" Said Newt not daring to look at Teresa.

"There's something more in there, why did he calling you blonde made you mad?" Questioned Teresa.

"Because that's how he called me Teresa, now get out I have to finish the paperwork before my shift at work starts" Said Newt angrily.

"I didn't knew Newt" 

"Just go" Was all Newt said before returning to his workplace.

"Newt I'm sorry, I..." 

"I told you to leave! Minho get that shank to the nursery!" Snapped out Newt.

"Fine" Mumbled Teresa.

"That was rude Newt" With that Minho started carrying Thomas over his shoulder.

Teresa didn't understood why did Newt snapped out at her, all she did was ask what happened and why did the fact that Thomas called him blonde made him so mad, she knew he was stressed but that wasn't enough excuse to kick his cousin in the face and the snap at her, there was something odd, something Newt wasn't telling, what memories were attached to that pet name and what did they meant to Newt were a mystery for other day, cause she had to find a way to stop a war between Newt and Thomas.

"Teresa wait, I can't run and carry Thomas at the same time" Screamed Minho.

"You sure wonder boy?" Teased Teresa.

"Just slow down, please" 

"Fine, but I need you to help me understand what does blonde mean to Newt?" Asked Teresa while arching an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid that's a question I can't answer, but when the time comes he'll tell you, don't worry Teresa" Said Minho, it may or may not came harsher than he intended." He'll get over it soon, I hope"

After that they walked all the way to infirmary silently not daring to look at each other, truth to be told Minho was afraid of letting the truth slip since he tends to talk more than needed, and Teresa was afraid of hearing the truth, she knew that what happened months ago was hard for Newt but she never expected it to change Newt so much, he's so dark, almost emotionless, sometimes she feels like she doesn't know him anymore.

"We're here, thanks Minho" He took that as he queue to leave since his job was done.

"I'm sorry if I was little harsh, earlier today, it's just that it also awakes bad memories for me" Said Minho.

"It's okay, if you need someone to talk I'll be there for you" Minho hugged her while he began crying.

"Thanks Teresa, no one had been so nice to me since him" 

"That's what friends do, don't they?" Reluctantly Teresa Answered 

Minho couldn't help himself, he needed to talk out his feelings, he couldn't bare the way his heart ached, the way the flashbacks came and the way it would broke him"Teresa I'm tired of being strong, I do it for Newt but it's so hard, I miss him to, but Newt can't see me cry it would only make things harder" 

"Minho, everything is going to be fine, I promise I won't leave you" Teresa never realized how much did the accident affected Minho, he never cried, nor did smiled, he was just emotionless and now Teresa understood everything he was being strong for Newt, he was being the best friend Newt could ever need, something she could never be. 

"Thanks Teresa"Minho stopped crying, he felt peaceful for the first time since the accident, he felt like everything was right, and everything thanks to Teresa.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you Minho, for being everything I'll never be for Newt, I love him as a brother but I am not a good person Minho, I can't act selfless, I'm just a rotten and broken girl" Said Teresa, crying, breaking down all her wall, showing her real self.

"Teresa, you've helped Newt as much as I, and don't you dare to say that again, you're a magnificent person, you've saved Newt more times than I, you've talked him out of suicide, and there's no way I'll ever be able to pay that debt" Minho stopped thinking, he just leaned to closer until...

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Thomas woke up he found himself in the infirmary, it was around seven o'clock or at least that was what Thomas thought since it was already dark.

"You're finally awake kiddo, for a moment I thought you were dead" The Nurse laughed and Thomas just moaned, the moment he remembered the fact that a skinny blonde knocked him out.

"How did I got here?" Asked Thomas.

"An asian looking guy and his girlfriend brought here" Thomas didn't knew that Minho had a girlfriend, he better ask him about her "Oh and the boy told me that you should call Teresa when you wake up, cause she was worried or something between those lines.

"Thanks Beth?" 

"No problem, did a bully picked you up?"

"No actually I kinda pissed off this blonde, and the last thing that I remember was fist punching me" Thomas scratched his neck awkwardly.

"Newt may not look like it, but when he's pissed he can be as lethal as a python" 

"Do I wanna know how do you know this?" Asked Thomas, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Not a long ago he defeated a whole gang of bullies all by himself, those kids had tons of broken bones, no one has heard about them since then, some they they moved to another school, others say that Newt killed them in their sleep, but the truth is that they're still in the hospital" 

"Thanks for the information, guess I'll try to avoid him.

He left the nursery, and dialed Teresa's number, he knew he had to do it sooner or later and Thomas prefer sooner.

"Hey Teresa"  
"Thomas I'm so going to kill you, when you get home"  
"I'm sorry, I didn't knew that this was going to happen, honestly I doubted he even knew how to fight"  
"Just don't do it again, okey?"  
"Fine"  
"And if Aunt Ava asks, you and Minho were at the cinema"  
"Thanks for covering me Teresa"  
"No problem"  
"T, did you knew that Minho had a girlfriend?"  
"Wait what?"  
"Yeah, that was what the nurse told"  
"Thomas I gotta go, bye"

Thomas didn't understood the sudden mood swing, when Thomas said that Minho had a girlfriend, but he knew that there a things that better remain as a mystery. Thomas wanted to talk to someone about his crappy day, and about the cute blonde, wait what?, that blonde was everything but cute, he was a demon, a nightmare dressed like a daydream, no he isn't a daydream, Thomas really needs someone to help hi. Figure out what's happening to him, maybe he can talk to the librarian since Teresa said that he could talk with the librarian since he was a really good listener.

Surprisingly for Thomas the walk to the library was fast, but he couldn't care less since he was meeting this mysterious friend of Teresa, maybe they could be best friends, since what Thomas needed the most was a some who would listen and help him heal. For Thomas surprise there was no one in the library, weird Thomas thought.

"Hello? Is there anyone here!" Screamed Thomas at the top of lungs.

"Coming" A voice answered, a voice that seemed slightly familiar to Thomas.

Thomas wasn't expecting that the librarian, Teresa's friends, would end up being, Newt the person who messed up his day, there were two options, to leave or to try and work out things with the blonde. "I guess you're the librarian"

"No shit Sherlock" Said Newt, as he rolled his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Teresa said you're a good listener"

"Indeed I am" Newt started walking closer to Thomas, he was quite curious about the brunette, why would Teresa send him here after what happened earlier today, maybe she wanted them to work out their differences, Newt wasn't quite sure, but he was going to do what he taught him, to help whoever needs it, friend or foe.

"You think, you can help me?" Asked Thomas even though he didn't trusted the blonde, Teresa did, maybe he should give him a second chance, what could possibly go wrong?

"It depends on you, greenie" 

"Thomas, that's my name, so call me Thomas" Thomas' voice echoes trough the library.

"Sorry, but I don't feel like it, greenie" Newt couldn't suppress his laughter, it's just that he found amusing how easily he could piss of Thomas. "Fine I'll call you Thomas as long as you don't call me blonde"

"I guess I won't call you blonde then, Newt" Said Thomas with a big grin, he also felt something in his insides while hearing Newt's laughter, but he couldn't understand what was it.

"Are you going to talk or what?" Asked Newt, with an eyebrow lifted.

"I guess I'll begin by talking about this annoying blonde, who kicked the hell out of me earlier today" 

"I bet he was bloody handsome, wasn't he?" 

"Nah, he was an arrogant brat, not my type" That comment made Newt laugh for the second in the night, Newt could see a lot of him in Thomas.

"If I ever meet him, I'll kick him for you" Thomas laughed at this, maybe Newt wasn't as bad as he guessed.

"Also I kissed Aris, he say it was okey cause he was in an open relationship, it was amazing, he's quite a good kisser. Did you knew?" Said Thomas while touching his lips.

"How could I possibly know that?"

" It was a rhetorical question, duh" Newt just rolled his eyes at this "Though there's something bothering me about the kiss, it felt really good I'm not gonna lie but still it felt wrong, it felt kinda dirty" 

"I'm going to tell two things first you must do whatever your heart tells you, if it tells you it's wrong then don't do it again and second I know him and his boyfriend, from experience I can tell that their relationship is not open at all" Newt's voice dropped and some tears began to fall.

"I suppose I'm not the only one with a story to tell" Teased Thomas.

"Leave me alone, please"Pleaded Newt.

Whoa, Thomas was confused what did he said to made the blonde like this."Newt if I said something that..."

"I told you to leave!" Said Newt with the same emotionless face he used to wear, whenever he was afraid of his emotions and didn't wanted to let people see him as weak as he truly is.

"You said you were going to help, and believe this isn't helping at all" Thomas didn't understood how Newt could go from a nice person to a complete douchebag.

"Just leave Thomas!"

"Fine" Thomas scowled.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas was glad that it was finally Friday, his first week at the SHS had been exhausting thanks to a certain blonde, who decided it was a good idea to leave the hardest jobs in The Maze to Thomas, he hated him so much for that, but he was the president and he couldn't leave cause Thomas knew that leaving would mean crushing Minho's heart. "Thomas, I was thinking that maybe we can actually go to the cinema this time"

"Sorry Minho, but Teresa forced me to study Spanish after school, maybe tomorrow" Thomas said, not mentioning the fact that he actually wanted to learn Spanish and that Teresa didn't forced him.

"Fine, by the way you'll love Jorge" They parted ways Minho was going to the track, while Thomas started walking to the classroom number 123.

He was expecting lots of things from the class, but no this, not Newt, why the heck he was here. "What are you doing here?"

"Jorge is sick, so I'm giving the class"Newt said nonchalantly.

"I can't picture you talking Spanish, it just seems a little bit odd?" Thomas couldn't help but laugh at the mental picture of Newt speaking Spanish.

"Eres un idiota" Said Newt, fluently and with a perfect latin accent.

"Whoa, did you just called me an idiot in Spanish?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no, who knows?"Newt wiggled his eyebrows, making Thomas really confused.

"I hope I knew another language so I could insult you too" Thomas pouted.

"Guess I won this time" Said Newt with a cocky grin.

"This isn't over, cause if war is what you want, I'll give you war" Said Thomas in a competitive attitude.

"Good That" Was all Newt said before beginning the class.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You gotta be kidding" Thomas groaned.

"Are you stalking me or something Thomas?" Asked Newt.

"I shall ask you the same question, blonde." 

"I have been here longer than you greenie, everybody knows that I come to this coffee shop everyday after school, heck they even know what I order" Newt glared at Thomas.

"I'm going to take a shot and say that you order tea?" Teased Thomas.

"You really go for stereotypes, don't you?" Asked Newt.

"Nah, I was just kidding" Answered Thomas. "So what are you ordering?"

"A venti sized fresh filter coffee and two double chocolate chunk brownie." 

"Anything else?" Asked Thomas.

"That's it" Newt replied. "How much is it?"

"Just $5 dollars" Newt gave Thomas a 5 dollar bill and patiently waited for his order, which was given to him faster than usual.

"I gotta admit, that you are bloody good at your job, I may consider you for the secretary vacant" Newt winked at Thomas.

"Guess it can't be worse that my actual work at the council" Said Thomas "It's better right?"

"Totally, and on the bright side it might piss off Gally, he has been bitching me to give him the charge" Said Newt with a dark smile and an evil gleam in his dark chocolate eyes.

"That's a win-win situation." 

"Totally, by the way I'm totally winning our little war" Said Newt with a bright smile.

"In your dreams, blonde."

"I may be merciful if you give up, greenie" After saying that Newt left leaving, a scared and confused Thomas behind, he still couldn't understand how could someone go from friendly and likable to dark and hateful.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas was in his room when he heard the doorbell ring, and since he had the closest room to the door, he decided to answer the door, and there he was, his frenemy, Newt, out of everyone it had to be him, what a lucky person was Thomas, wasn't he?

"What are you doing here?" Asked Newt, drily.

"I live here?"Thomas offered, maybe a little more sarcastically than he intended.

"I don't know, how I didn't saw it before, it was quite obvious now that you think..."

"I want to know what you're doing at my house at 10 o'clock!" Thomas interrupted Newt, since he was not interested in seeing the blonde during the weekend.

"I came to see my boyfriend, I thought you were a smart guy Thomas"

"Out of all the people Aris knows, it had to be you, how amazing" Thomas said sarcastically and Newt just rolled his eyes. 

"Well, it's a small world after all, don't you think Tommy?" Said Newt, with a sweet voice, one that Thomas never heard, one that seemed peaceful and joyful.

"Wait did you just called me Tommy?"

"No I didn't" Newt said nervously, with a small blush.

"Yes you did" 

"No I didn't!"

"I totally heard you calling me Tommy"

"I said dummy, you dork!" Said Newt angrily.

"Are we already in the part were we call each other by pet names?"Teased Thomas"First Tommy, then dummy and now dork."

"Shut up!" Newt shoved away Thomas and made his way to Aris' room.

"I suppose they aren't sleeping at all, just hope they aren't too loud" Thomas said to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, I also hope that it answered some of your questions. 
> 
> Feedback and Kudos are appreciated.


	4. When Will My Life Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the dark sunset, the lightest night hides.  
> Secrets hidden by blood, shall be uncovered.  
> The Dark Soul is in distress, and only the darkness can understand.  
> An innocent act of true love, will mark the beginning of the living nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to thank you for reading, for leaving kudos, and for commenting.
> 
> Also I'm warning you this chapter is darker.

Eventually Thomas became Newt's secretary, it was quite funny and enjoyable, and way better than his other job. When Newt announced that he was his new secretary, Gally was so pissed off that you could say he was burning, he yelled, and at the end he stormed out of The Maze, saying that this wasn't over. And even though they were in a war, during job they were professional and almost friendly with each other. Thomas would never say it out loud, but really liked this Newt. "Hey Thomas, can you prepare some coffee please?"

"On my way." It was amazing being his secretary, his job was quite easy, he accompanied Newt to the school meeting and contrary to popular belief they were quiet eventful, and when they finished early either Newt helped Thomas forget and forgive or just dismissed him. 

"Thank you Thomas, you wanna talk or do you prefer to leave?" Asked Newt as Thomas gave him his mug, with freshly made filter coffee.

"I guess I'll stay, I think it's time to let go the thing I love the most, my little brother." Said Thomas with a straight face.

"What did he meant to you, Thomas? Why letting him go?" Asked Newt.

"He was everything for me, my reason to fight, to be strong, to live. And I need to let him go, cause in my brother live my darkest memories." Said Thomas, crying he tried but he couldn't hold it.

"It's fine Thomas, I'm here." Newt hugged Thomas, truth to be told he could support seeing Thomas crying.

"Thanks Newt." 

"What's his name?" 

"Chuck, his name is Chuck." Answered Thomas, sobbing.

"Who's Chuck? I need you to really think about who he is wand what he means, try to describe what he represents." Newt's voice seamed calm and almost lulling.

"He is life and death, happiness and sadness, hunger, nightmares, work, torture, angel, danger, sacrifice and hope." Was all that Thomas could come up with, it's just that he loved Chuck but he gave his childhood for him, he saw what a 10 year old should never see, he experienced things that a 13 year old should never experience. 

"Now I want you to imagine him, to imagine that you hug him and then I want you to say out loud, Goodbye little brother I'm going to miss you but I need to let you go." Newt said, he rubbed Thomas back trying to calm him.

Thomas did as Newt said he imagined himself hugging Chuck, then he repeated what Newt said, and he felt peace, he felt as all of his fears go, he felt free. "Thanks Newt."

"Now you can leave." Said Newt" By the way I'm crashing at your house tonight, promise I won't be too loud this time."

As Thomas left Newt, wondered when would his life begin, since all he does is work himself to death, barely talk to anyone, and wander through an eternal nightmare.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What a day, first he had Newt as teacher, then he declared war to Newt and now he was at his cousin's bedroom, doing God knows what!

"Thomas, Dear." Called Aunt Ava's voice from her bedroom.

"What can I do for you aunt?" Asked Thomas.

"Could buy Aris some lube and condoms, he just texted me that he ran out of both, I know it may be awkward for you but my back is killing me." Said Aunt Ava. 

"Don't worry auntie, I'll be happy to help you." Actually didn't wanted to go, but his aunt needed him, and he guessed it would be better and hearing those love birds make out.

The closest Target was 5 minutes away, it wasn't that far, on the bright side it was easy to find the condoms, on the not so bright side there was no lube, call him stupid but he really hoped that he could find lube at Target, guess he'll have to buy some kind of body oil, hoping it will do, he took the one that smelled like coconut, he loved the way that coconut smelled, maybe Aris also loved that?

"So your having a fun night, is it your first?" Asked the cashier as she saw the products Thomas was about to pay for, he blushed at her comment how could he not?

"Actually it's for my cousin and his boyfriend." Thomas said, as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Oh sorry." Said the cashier.

"No problem, honestly if I were you I would've asked the same question." The cashier just laughed at his comment.

On the way home he thought of how he was going he would say, or what we could see, not that he minded seeing them naked, it would just be odd. He was expecting a long walk home, but instead it was a really short one, he just walked in and started moving towards Aris' room, then he knocked his door.

"That was fast, thank you Thomas." Said Aris as he grabbed the bag that Thomas held.

"I didn't found lube, so I bought body oil." Said Thomas, with a light blush.

"That will do, thanks Thomas." Said Aris. "How did you knew that Newt loved the smell of Coconut? You're the best cousin ever."

"Actually I chose it, cause I love the coconut and thought that you might like it as well"

"Aris, don't leave me waiting, you know how much I hate to wait." Newt's voice said.

"I gotta go, I don't want him to get impatient, I really want to be able to walk tomorrow." With that Aris closed the door.

A few minutes later both Newt's and Aris moans could be heard everywhere in the house, and their moans might or might not had turned on Thomas, he thought about taking a cold shower, but he knew that that wouldn't do it, he needed to find a solution. He opted to sleep, but he couldn't cause this two were so loud, that Thomas was sure even their neighbors could hear them. "Some people are trying to sleep so you know."

"Sorry." Someone screamed, still they were too loud, leaving Thomas with no other option but taking care of his little problem by his own.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You killed me." A wicked voice said. 

"Alby, I'm sorry." Said Newt.

"It's was your fault." The dark skinned guy said with poison in his voice.

"I was just afraid, I didn't wanted any of this, since that day my life, is a non stopping nightmare." Newt started crying, it was all his fault, because of him he was dead.

"I'm happy to hear that, you deserve to burn in hell Newt!" Alby screamed.

"Please forgive me Alby, can't you see how much I've been suffering since that day."

"You don't deserve, you don't deserve to live, you don't deserve a happy ending Newt, you're a villain, a monster, that's way everyone always leaves you, that's why no one truly cares about you. You're such a terrible person that even your boyfriend prefers his cousin over you." Alby started walking towards Newt.

"I know, I wish I was dead, but that had be too easy, I deserve the pain, the suffering." Said Newt as Alby hands were placed around his neck.

"Don't worry Newt, I'll help you with that, I'm taking your life as you took mine." Alby smirked as he began strangling Newt.

That's when Newt woke up, screaming, with fresh tears running all the way down his cheeks. It felt so real, Alby's words were still there, breaking his heart, reminding him who he really is, a horrible person who deserves to rot in hell, someone who has killed his best friend, someone who has hurt so many people, the monster everyone fears, a bomb ready to explode, Death and Misery incarnated in the form of a human, the fire that would burn everything and everyone he cared of.

"Newt, Are you okay?" A sleep voice asked, while rubbing his back.

"I need to go." Said Newt, without any emotion in his voice.

"Please don't push me away, Newt. I love and seeing you like this breaks me" Aris placed a chaste kiss in Newt's lips.

"Aris, I hurt everyone I love, I don't deserve any of this." Said Newt, as silent tears began falling.

"Newt, don't say that, you're an amazing person that's not true." 

"Aris, my mom hates me, my dad barely talks to me, Alby died because of me, at school people only talk to me when they need help, and I still don't understand why you, Teresa and Minho stick with me." Explained Newt.

"Alby didn't dies because of you Newt, and we hang out with you cause we love you, we care about you Newt." Aris hugged him.

"Alby said that I don't deserve any of this, that I deserve to rot in hell."

"You know that Alby would never say that, that he's proud of how you've handled things, he just wanted to see you happy Newt." Aris began kissing placing soft kisses on Newt's neck.

"Aris, I need some time alone." Newt dressed up, and started walking to the door, Aris knew that he needed it he wasn't keen to the idea but there was nothing he could do.

Newt walked past Thomas room, he was about to reach the stairs, when a hand was placed in his should. "Newt where are you going?" 

"I'm leaving, I need to be alone."

"Newt, you've helped me so much, you've heard me talk about my complicated past, you've helped me heal, please let me return the favor." His secretary said, with a sincere smile.

"Fine, what you're about to hear, shall be kept as a secret or you're dead man Thomas." Said Newt, knowing that the annoying brunette wouldn't rest until Newt accepted.

"I promise." Thomas was happy that the blonde accepted, maybe this could change their relationship for good.

"The lets begin, I'll warn you, that this story will be dark, sad, and bloody dark." Was all Newt said before beginning to tell the story of his life.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Newt, where are you?" Rachel's voice rang trough the room.

"I'm here, sis" An eight year old Newt said.

"Don't you dare to run away like that again Newt, I was bloody worried." Shouted the twelve year old girl.

"I'm sorry, I got scared." A single tear drop appeared, soon followed by tons of them.

"God, you're crying, I'm sorry for snapping at you" 

"You didn't made me cry, big sis, it was mom." 

"What exactly happened in there Newt?" Asked his sister.

"I told her that I'm gay, and she got crazy, she started telling me that I'm sick, and many other horrible things, so I started running away." Newt answered, but she wasn't looking at her sister, actually his eyes looked blank, they looked lifeless. "Please don't hate." 

"Newt you're my brother and nothing will change that, I love you and I'll always loved no matter what." A ghost of a smile formed on Newt's lips.

"Thank you Rachel." 

"Let's go home Newt, you can't stay with grandpa, he may love you but he's to old to take care of you."

"But she hates me, I don't want see her." Newt said.

"I'll protect you, if she tries something then I'll let you come back." 

"Fine."

Newt didn't wanted to return, his mother was a monster, she had always hated him and now she has a reason to hate him. 

"You two, stop." A dark voice caller from behind.

"Let us alone." Rachel's voice demanded.

"But I want to play with the little boy." The adult said.

"You're not getting anywhere near my brother, you perv" Rachel said as she put his brother behind her so that the old man couldn't abuse his little and innocent brother.

"I just want to play." Said the pervert.

"You think I'm stupid, I know what playing means, I might be young but I'm wise."

"If you want it the bad way, I was thinking about being nice with the kiddo, but now I'm gonna make sure he suffers."

"Newt run." Said Rachel, and Newt did as said, and began running his grandpa house." He ran as fast as flash, since he was already there, he just stormed into the house and searched for his grandpa.

"Grandpa, help me, a creepy guy has Rachel, and he said he wanted to play." Grandpa Henry took Newt and guided him to the car, but by the time they arrived, it was already too late since Rachel was already knocked out, bleeding like there was no tomorrow.

"We need to call the ambulance." Was all that Grandpa said. 

Two hours later they were in the hospital, waiting for the doctor, Newt was afraid, he didn't wanted lose his sister. 

"It's all your fault Newt, because of you I'm losing my only child." Said Newt's mother.

"Sally, Newt's your son." Newt's Grandpa said. 

"The moment he decided he wanted to be gay he stopped being my son, dad." Said Newt's mother with no remorse. 

"Then I'll take care of him, and I don't want to see you anywhere near my house." 

"Believe the last thing I want is to be near that thing."

"She's alive." The doctor said."But she's in comma."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I know it's sad, but I haven't seen my mother since that day, she never cared about me." Newt didn't wanted to let Thomas see him like this, but he couldn't hold it backs anymore, he needed this more than ever.

"You deserve better Newt, honestly she was a bitch, it wasn't your fault..." Newt slapped him so hard, that Thomas saw stars.

"You've no right to talk about her, she may be the wicked witch but that doesn't give you the right to insult her Thomas." 

"Yeah sorry, I got caught up on the moment." Thomas apologized and offered a warm smile. "So where do you live?" 

"With my grandfather, he seems to care about me, sometimes my father comes but our relationship isn't the best, but at least he tries, I guess?" More tears started falling straight from his eyes.

"It's fine Newt, don't cry, I'm here, I know how you feel." Thomas hugged Newt, trying to help him feel better.

"You don't, you may had a harsh live, but you don't suffer depression, you don't wake up from a nightmare every night, you don't know how I feel." The blonde pushed his secretary, who's practically his second in command, away from the embrace.

"Believe or not, I didn't wake up because of your nocturnal activities, I woke up from a nightmare Newt, I may not show it but I'm as broken as you..."

"Where was I?" Was all Newt said, cutting Thomas away.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was the day, Newt was telling his best friend about his feelings, today he was telling Harry about his undying love towards him. Harry had brown hair, pale skin, light brown eyes, he was lean, and he was tall for a 12 year old. Newt didn't knew how or when, he just knew he was in love with the brunette and he couldn't stop thinking abut him, about his eyes, or his lips.

"Newt, how are you?" A nice voice asked from behind.

"Fine I guess, I'm still having problems dealing with my emotions, I still have nightmares about what happened four years ago, and I can't get over the fact that I may never see my sister again." 

"Newt calm down, it's okay, I'm here, she'll be fine." The brown haired boy said.

"Thank you, Harry." 

"Don't worry mate, I'll always be here for you." The brunet offered one smile.

"Good That" They started walking toward the park were they went after school, normally they would sit under the tree and today was no exception, also they would talk about their day or read a book, but today Newt was going to let his heart speak.

"Harry, there's something I've wanted to tell you." 

"What's it Newt?." Newt decided that the best way to show Harry his feelings was by placing a chaste kiss in his lips, but it didn't went as Newt expected, instead of Harry kissing back he got pushed away.

"What was that Newt, friends don't kiss, men don't kiss each other, that's disgusting." Harry said.

"I'm sorry Harry, it's just that I fell in love with you." Tears from Newt's eyes.

"Newt I don't want to see you again, you disgust me." Newt ran away, to his new house.

"Newt, what happened?" Asked Newt's grandpa.

"I kissed Harry and he was mean." Newt couldn't stop crying, so the old man hugged him.

After a few minutes Newt stopped crying and went to his bedroom he just wanted to sleep, and to forget about what happened today. By the time he woke up, his grandparent had his things packed, Newt knew this was going to happen, he was kicking him out.

"Newt we're moving to Albuquerque, it's in America." His grandpa said calmly.

"So you're not kicking me out?" Asked Newt.

"Newt I would never do that, you're my grandson and I love you, just the way you're." 

"Thank you Grandpa."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What a douchebag." Said Thomas.

"I'm still not over him."

"Newt you deserved better than him, you have Aris and he loves you."

"I know, but the pain, the venom in his voice is still there."

"Newt he's not worth it." Thomas said.

"What if it's me the one who's not worth it Thomas, what will happen when Aris sees that?"

"Newt that's not true."

"Them explain to me why he always hooks up with whatever guy he sees." Newt arched an eyebrow at Thomas.

"Cause you're in an open relationship?"

"Only for him, cause when I try to hook up with another person, he gets mad and jealous." 

"That proves my point, he's afraid of messing up and he's protective cause he doesn't want to lose you."

"May I continue?"

"Totally."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newt was having a breakdown, everything in this school reminded him of his life in England. He was afraid of rejection, afraid of people hurting him, afraid of life.

"Hey kiddo, what are you doing?" A gentle voice asked.

"Go away!" Newt screamed.

"My name's Alby, and I just want to help you."

"No you don't, everybody hates me!" The blond said.

"That's not true I don't hate you blonde, why should I hate you?" The dark skinned kid asked.

"Because I'm gay." Newt closed his eyes, waiting for the boy to kick him or something.

"I'm still waiting for a reason." 

"Wait aren't you going to kick me, cause I'm gay?"

"Nope, by the way I like you greenie." Alby said." I can tell that we're gonna be great friends, and I'm going to teach some self defense."

They started walking away, chatting, together creating an in breakable bond, but they didn't knew that a raven haired boy, with green eyes was observing them, a boy that liked to held grudges, a boy that was getting his revenge against the boy who stole his best friends.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And that's how I met Alby." 

"He sounds like a lovely person, I wish I had met him" Thomas said.

"You would have been great friends" It should have been Newt the one who died, not Alby, he deserved to live not Newt.

"Do you miss him?" Thomas asked.

"I miss him so much, if could give my bloody life in exchange of his I would do it without a second thought." 

"All of this must be hard for you, isn't it?"

"Indeed it is, I try to move on but I can't." There was something no one knew, the reason why Newt couldn't forget about Alby, the reason why his best friend haunted him every night.

"You like to hold onto things, to never let them go, you hate changes, don't you?" Asked Thomas, curiosity got the best of him.

"I do, but I try not to, he used to say 'The darker your soul is, the harder your fall will be'."

"I've never heard wisest words." Said Thomas, amazed by they fact that someone that young could be so wise.

"I used to tell him the same, I owe him so much, if it wasn't for him, I'll be dead by now Thomas, yet I let him die" Said Newt, with big puffy eyes. 

"Newt, I didn't knew Alby, but I know that he would've wanted you to forgive yourself and forget about the bad times, about the accident. If I was him I would've wanted to you to remind the best of me."

"Your not him and you didn't knew him! How could you be so sure." Newt almost screamed.

Thomas didn't knew what to say or do, he decided to let his instincts take care, and started leaning until their lips met, Newt's lips where soft, the felt amazing, he felt butterflies in his stomach, he felt something magical, but before he could continue Newt pulled away.

"I hate you so much, I knew that I couldn't trust, how dumb of me, I don't know how I could be so naïve, for a moment I thought we could be friends, but I never been so wrong." That being said he stormed out of the house, he was confused, he was hurt, the worst part was that this wasn't the first time that something like this happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, the next chapter will talk about the accident.
> 
> Kudos and Feedback are appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so I hope you liked it, please comment or leave kudos. And if you were wondering English isn't my mother language, so I'm sorry for any mistake.


End file.
